Stop Living A Masquerade

Masks

Image by Rickydavid via Flickr

“I have hid myself for far too long.”

I told myself that about 12 years ago. I had finally decided to work on me and deal with my weaknesses. I knew that I could not be used of God if I did not begin to deal with me. He had so much in store and I was ducking and dodging from what it was.

Growing up I never really felt as if I had much to offer. A turbulent, abusive childhood caused me to create many masks with varying facets to each one. It was like each one was painted with a bunch of colors to hide the pain that resided inside of a tortured mind. The masks helped me to be whoever I needed to be at whatever time I needed to become someone I really wasn’t.

I wasn’t Sybil or anything like that. I was simply scared to share me. I was frightened that revealing myself and exposing the hurt would cause rejection to become to my friend. The masks helped me to integrate into a judgmental society. I thought my weaknesses made me socially undesirable.

My writing became my escape from fiction into reality. When I got tired of the masks I would write, and write; and write some more. Years of pain began to reveal itself through journaling and poetry. Then my journaling began to take on a new look and my poetry changed too. God began to take my weaknesses and use it to His glory. The masks began to peel away, as the years of pain became distant memories.

Where I told God no, He said yes and took my writing to new levels. Writing became my voice and my voice began to reveal who I really was. My personal weaknesses actually became my strengths.

As I began sharing with others what God had given me I became bolder. My voice box actually began to work and these things called words, real words, came out of my mouth. My writing took on new meaning because of how it helped me to open up.

My story became my witness and my life has changed. God took what I thought was unnecessary and created a great necessity.

When I think of life in terms of what God has for me to do, I realize that my personal weaknesses are nothing compared with what happens when you allow God to use you.

We try to hide our true selves from God; yet all along, He knows what lies within each and every single one of us. The good news is that He is willing to help us conquer our weaknesses and be our strength as we break through the yoke that has us bound. He is there to help us remove the masks that have worn us down.

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